May 2013
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Me with romantic interest: Hi, how've you been lately? How's that project you're working on? Yeah? I'd love to see sometime, dude! How's the family? Good, good. Well, I'll talk to you later! Yeah we definitely need to hang out more often. Hopefully see you soon! :)
Me with platonic friend: YOU GORGEOUS CREATURE HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE LAST I SAW YOU? HOW I'VE MISSED YOUR LUCID DIAMOND EYES, UGH I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECTLY SCULPTED, ARE YOU AN ANGEL MADE OF MARBLE LET'S GET MARRIED.
littlemusicalwitch:
poopflow:
roughrimjob:
meladoodle:
she got a pussy like the grand canyon
dry and sandy
possibly filled with dead bodies
Often traveled by donkeys, tourists and tour guides
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sorou:
i-sold-my-soul-for-the-tardis:
thepioden:
hair-old-styles:
harrystyies:
What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?
My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually
Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not...
uggatrip:
when you try to tell someone a joke but you punch up the fuckline
forever-classyx:
Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
moshturbate:
All I want is to lay down with someone who actually likes me for me so we can cuddle and listen to similar music. Is that too much?
fuckoff-mondays:
When you listen to a song you used to listen to ages ago and you get that weird as fuck spine chilling feeling as you remember how your life was at that point in time
charliebraddberry:
princass:
life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who simultaneously doesn’t give a shit about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything you feel
inbox:
Like a good neighbor, I do not care
inbox:
Like a good neighbor, I do not care
wartortles:
having a good url is the #1 way to trick people into thinking ur a good blog
tardis-mind-palace:
getting-fit-staying-fab:
I really hate it when people say “Men shouldn’t call women fat” “Men shouldn’t abuse women” “Men shouldn’t rape women” “Men shouldn’t be sexist”
When really it should be “Nobody should call anybody fat” “Nobody should abuse anybody” “Nobody should rape anybody” “Nobody should be sexist”
Stop blaming men for everything
THANK YOU
professionalmisanthrope:
☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ Asexuals can appreciate good looking people
☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ Asexuals are not necessarily sexually repressed or sex-repulsed
☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ Asexuals can fall in love and enter relationships
☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ Asexuals can have functioning libidos without being sexually attracted to people
☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ Asexuality is not necessarily the result of sexual abuse
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partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
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that sexual tension between two bloggers who always like/reblog each others’ posts
bombliate:
how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
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THE LANGOLIERS.
I FOUND IT, I FOUND ONE OF THREE TRAUMATIZING CHILDHOOD MOVIES I SPENT YEARS TRYING TO REMEMBER THE NAME OF. I’M CRAZY THEY SAID, THERE WAS NO SUCH MOVIE AS GIANT HAIRY SPACE BALLS EATING PEOPLE THEY SAID.
hahahahahaha
fuck you i will be watching this movie and ill be laughing in your face naysayers. muahaha
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burgrs:
she wears short skirts I wear the skin of all those who dare defy me
tylerfucklin:
can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you.
why would i want blank paper
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trapical:
to be honest i find it hard to believe that theres someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me
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